Silvestris' Journal

silvestris @ 2008-07-21T13:41:00

2008-07-21T11:48:57Z

Life is ambling on.
Mostly things are good, even though the frequent phone calls along the line of "do you want to keep this?" from parents sorting through the last of the family's belonging before the house is sold undoubtedly sting quite a bit.

It was a good birthday, though. Chi gave me a gorgeous viking-style hairpin in solid bronze I've been drooling over for some two years now. It is very snazzy. I can now wear my hair Lizzie-style without the use of convenient nearby pencils or brushes.
Friend Nicole and her boyfriend came over with a delicious chocolate cake. We watched The Ember Island players and had a good time. ... They came over yesterday, too, with the whole of Sozin's Comet, and we watched that, too.
A very low-key, good-times weekend with good friends. Very nice. :)

Also, thank you, all of you, who wished me a happy birthday a few posts back! And thank you Croaky and Anla for the present. ♥

Finally, a heads-up - I need money to carry out my sneaky anti-November plans for this fall, so I'll be auctioning off the remaining prints I made this spring, come August. Pretty, sparkly prints... You know you want them... >.>

[edit] Ah, and thanks Kseena for the inspiration-wishes and Fortuna for the drabble, too! ^_^;d

Avatar - Sozin's Comet

2008-07-21T11:18:55Z

Giving a whole new meaning to the coined nickname Firelord Babyface. u.u

I must say, despite the loooong, long. Long. Looong wait for the end of season 3, I'd almost rather have waited this long to be served it all in one go. I mean, having to wait for a week between each of those last episodes?
Gnaaarrrgh, right there.

But it was good. All good.

Enough loose threads to give hope of some sort of continuation some day (Mommy Ursa? Sokka's sword? Blood-bending? And so on and so forth?) but defintitely very nicely wrapped up.

Been dying for months to see the White Lotus show up again, and dang did those sexy old men kick arse. :D

Also, yay, Iroh!
Also, aaaaaaaaaaawwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww Zuko finally facing his uncle again and being forgiven. (and having carried his stinky slipper around. XD)

And Azula totally losing it. Poor girl. Or not, really. Yet still, somehow. With such a family, it's no wonder she turned out the little monster that she did. We like Azula. u.u And that final duel between the siblings? Gorgeous. I loved the silence and poignant music throughout. Very, very pretty.

And random characters kicking ass all around was good.
Aang going into creepy Avatar-state, complete with orbits, was very nice.
Severe badguy-asskicking also v. nice.

"Loserlord" is the best title ever.

Finally, firebending-deprived Ozai in dungeon... I think this is where I stop even trying to be objective about things and go cackle a bit and think highly inappropriate thoughts.

Loved it all.
It's been worth waiting for.

silvestris @ 2008-07-20T02:04:00

2008-07-20T00:17:58Z

Oh, yeah.
Silvy's still got it.

This started out as a relaxing doodle after having sketched and inked... 11? 12? characters for the E.D.E.N height chart lineup, and I just had to do something else for a bit.

So a doodle of Gabriel and two of her dinosaurs, right? Maybe even ink it a bit. Or smack some colors on, real quick. And some more. Bit of a background. Light and shadow-play. A tad more detail, here and here...

I'm pleased with how it turned out. X3

Gabriel is a funny character.
She's not at all interesting, quite boring and obnoxious, and I didn't like her much at all, except as a well-functioning cog in the wonderfully twisted machinery that is E.D.E.Nverse.

And then my perverted brain started serving me Gabriel/Sophia pr0n, or alternately retaliating!Team Switzerland/Gabriel pr0n, and suddenly she had loads of potential. X3

Poor Gabriel. She's such a bitter, spiteful indignant little mouse of a woman who no-one takes seriously, and who is wholly convinced everything, everywhere is a personal insult directed at her.
She and Sophia are bitter arch-enemies. Only Sophia isn't even aware, much less caring.
It's just. Not. Fair!

She's good at making dinosaurs, though. And even Sophia will be bound to take notice when El Niño there is unleashed.

Ha! Ha ha! Take that, Sophia! Ah-hahahahahaaaa!

silvestris @ 2008-07-19T12:30:00

2008-07-19T10:24:59Z

29.

silvestris @ 2008-07-18T11:14:00

2008-07-18T09:10:31Z

Episode 3 of Slayers Revolution and finally a new episode of Avatar?
World, you spoil me! ♥

Also, as for the latter one..? Aaawwwww...

[edit] Omgsquee. According to Nickelodeon's site, there's a whole bunch of new Avatar coming up this weekend, including the (yes, two-hour) final episode. Will there be closure at long, long last!?
Ahhhh, what a sweet, sweet way to spend my birthday~~~

silvestris @ 2008-07-17T19:24:00

2008-07-17T17:22:25Z

In light of recent inquiries...

silvestris @ 2008-07-16T00:14:00

2008-07-15T22:14:36Z

So, like I mentioned in my last post, I've been sketching and drawing a lot lately, to put the things I learn in class to good use.

And since we're currently very into Chi's ever-developing wonderful E.D.E.N storyverse, those characters get picked as models more often than not.

And so it is that I have, over the past three days, done little character profile portraits of all the main characters from the actual E.D.E.N organization. 8D

I go sleep now.

Click to enlarge. ♥

	Jehova The Big Boss of E.D.E.N himself. An utter enigma - not even the other E.D.E.N higher-ups know much about him; his name, his past or his secret agenda. Because there always has to be a secret agenda. ... Although given E.D.E.N's official agenda, it'd have to be something really nasty indeed to merit any batted eyelashes.
	Michael Archangel Michael, E.D.E.N's highest military commander. If you've ever done anything stupid, and you have, you can count on this man knowing it. His goons are everywhere, and while their official duty is to guard the E.D.E.N labs, they also answer directly to Michael. What they know, he'll know, and because they're useful, they're in a position to learn just about anything about what you're really working on.
	Uriel Archangel Uriel, aka Dr. L.F. Nexeph, head scientist of the Tokyo lab. Uriel was long known as one of the most bland and boring scientists of E.D.E.N, seemingly devoid of even those crazy little quirks that make the E.D.E.N personell such a colorful bunch. And then his main experiment, XYZ-7 Cain ran away. And then XYZ-7 Cain came back and trashed the lab for some reason. And then it was revealed that the chilly Dr. Nexeph had the entire trio of experiment Seth, supposed to have been disposed of years ago, living in his private office. Upon that discovery and the disaster of the ruined lab, Uriel had to high-tail it out of E.D.E.N. And among all these not at all very bland things, one final detail really made him stand out in E.D.E.N history. He survived.
	Lailah Lailah, aka Dr. Akira Quackraki, one of Nexeph's two blundering assistants in the Tokyo lab. Quackraki is an extremely sleazy bastard, matched in sliminess only by his partner-in-crime, Ojoh. Being exceptionally bad with children (like he is, granted, with all people in general) it was perhaps a rather unfortunate choice to place him as a prominent figure of Cain's upbringing. Quackraki also has a rather disturbing fetish for hamster ears.
	Vohamanah Vohamanah, aka Joe Ojoh, one of Nexeph's two blundering assistants in the Tokyo lab. The other half of the duo mainly responsible for handing Cain on a daily basis, Ojoh is every bit as bad at handling children as Quackraki. Unlike the other, though, he lacks every ounce of authority - and is also the one to (a tad too gleefully) handle any shots and needles to be used on the boy, and thus ends up with angry kitten-boy attached to his arm by means of fangs on a nearly daily basis. Also has a disturbing fetish for hamster ears. And syringes.
	Pistis Sophia Pistis Sophia, aka Dr. Lizbeth Wintersteele, exalted above all other angels, head scientist of Switzerland. Dr. Wintersteele is E.D.E.N's absolute topmost scientist, excelling above all others to such a degree that she was bestowed a title is outside and above the ordinary angel codenames. Ruling the E.D.E.N Switzerland lab with an iron fist (or not really, but we don't let anyone else know that, Machiavellian rumors work in our favour) her all-female team is the most streamlined, kickass bunch around. They have picnics on Alpen meadows every Saturday. And are partial to the occasional apfelstrudel.
	Maion Maion, aka Dr. Nandi Azande, Switzerland's resident physician and general second in command. Azande is a very capable, serious woman, her special fields of science being medicine and human genetics. One of the longest-standing members of the team, she is also Sophia's closest confidant (and mother hen). Disciplined and hard-working, she can nonetheless appreciate a bit of classical music, opera or fine arts. Or an apfelstrudel.
	Liwet Liwet, aka Dr. Molly Morrigan O'hara, Switzerland's very own tech-girl scientist. Life in the Switzerland lab certainly turned a lot more interesting on the glorious day in the past when Molly joined the team. Dr. Morrigan O'hara has a very special sense of humor. It usually aims below the belt, and is amicably and shamelessly shared with anyone and everyone. She also claims there's no better way of consuming those darn strudels that with a nice beer. Molly is responsible for the lab's computer network, vehicles, kitchen appliances and the occasional cyborg or two.
	Munkir Munkir, aka Dr. Ting Ling, Switzerland's brilliant young botanist and DNA-wizkid. Ting comes as part of a set of two - the Ling-twins are the latest additions to the Switzerland E.D.E.N team. Incidentally that particular team houses most of the meagre handful of people actually capable of telling them apart. Ting is a botanist and geneticist, specialized in phytological DNA. It's quite amazing, the things she and her sister can cook up together.
	Nakir Nakir, aka Dr. Ming Ling, Switzerland's brilliant young zoologist and DNA-wizkid. Ming is the other half of the Lings. Albeit physically separated at birth, the twins are considered a solid unit, and where ones goes, the other is bound to follow. Ming is a zoologist and geneticist, working primarily with animal-DNA. Although when she and Ting work together on joint projects, any interesting mix of genes may end up in the batter. Thanks to the addition of the refined young twins on the team, the beer-and-apfelstrudel-at-the-pub-on-weekends tradition was cultivated into full-blown little sophisticated picnics. Possibly Azande was grateful for this.
	Cathetel Cathetel, aka Dr. Maria-Luis Fiorenzo, head Scientist of the Costa Rica lab. Dr. Fiorenzo is one of the few E.D.E.N head scientists not much interested in the inter-organization schemes and powerstruggles. Dr. Ting's former mentor, he is a botanist with a more or less literally symbiotic relationship to his beloved plants. He's happiest when working away in his greenhouse lab in Costa Rica. Especially when working with those tentacly sapient waterlilies, to be precise. Cathetel is very, very gay.
	Gabriel Archangel Gabriel, aka Dr. Jane Jones, head scientist of the E.D.E.N lab of Brazil. A woman with... issues. Brazil specializes in making dinosaurs, mostly. And they're darned good at it, too. In fact, Gabriel is a very, very good scientist. So why is it always Sophia wallowing in general adoration and praise?! Damn the woman, she does it on purpose! And that sissy Cathetel next door, just cocking about with his flowers, never showing the local archangel proper respect! No respect, that's the problem with today's people! But we'll show them, oh we'll show them yet...

silvestris @ 2008-07-15T11:35:00

2008-07-15T10:03:20Z

I have a summer cold, complete with clogged-up nose and whiskey voice.
Other than that, though, things are... really good. Life is good.

It's summer, and we finally got our thumbs out of our asses and cleaned up the balcony and with some help from Chi's parents we got it netted in, so the cats can be out there. They only come inside to eat and get the occasional cuddle. Rarely has a cat been as shamelessly happy as a Nemo lazing about in the sunshine.
Of course, this also means we can use the balcony, so ever so often we have dinner or an evening cup o' tea out there, watching the sun set over the fields and forest. It's lovely.

Summer class is progressing nicely - lots of drawing, lots of little breakthroughs I will likely forget again over time. Hopefully enough will stick that it'll still lead to some sort of permanent improvement.
Still feels like cheating, somehow, but it's also working, so my moral qualms go studiously ignored.

I made the amusing discovery that I can apparently sketch as well with my left as my right hand when it comes to quick figure drawing. Go figure, indeed.
I wouldn't attempt it when actually drawing seriously, though - my left-hand drawings are very scribbly, almost abstract.

Chigrima's E.D.E.N storyverse is still our grandest entertainment, and used as guinea-pigs when it comes to all the free drawing I have to do for class.
KH has fallen far behind, and I've realized with vague surprise that don't even miss it anymore. Of all things that have come to an end over the past year, perhaps that affection was one of the least important.

I'm hoping this cold will have passed before the weekend - good friends are coming over with cake to celebrate my birthday on Saturday. If the weather's nice, perhaps we'll enjoy it out on the balcony, with the monsters.
Yeah.
That works.

More real life, and art.

2008-07-06T15:17:08Z

It's been a couple of bad days.

Rhianna's funeral really got to me. I am an archaeologist, and I find osteology a very interesting subject, and part of me would still analyze things in purely scientific terms, but to see the small, small pile of little brittle white bones as I transferred her remains from the cheap standard cardboard box they came in to a more suitable ceramic urn was... hard.
That such a warm, sweet loving creature could be reduced to this, such a small pile of little bones - it was a Memento Mori like a punch in the guts. A brutal reminder that any time at all, something treasured and alive can come to such a pitiful end.
Just a tiny pile of brittle, broken bones.

It's when dealing with death you really understand why mankind invented religion.

So that really got me into a slump. I know I'm still oversensitive, having so recently made it back on my feet, but at least I still retain enough detached distance to know the difference between things being crappy and things seeming too crappy to take.

I thought about that on the bus the other night, and the outlines of a drawing appeared to me. It's rare that I draw these just because things, but it felt like an important thing to do, to capture and visualize how these things work for me.

Ignore the wonky proportions. I was aiming at a capturing a concept rather than correct anatomy.

Here's the deal.

The world is full of horrible things, many of which cannot be changed or affected. People are starving or dying of diseases, pollution is fucking up all life on the planet, species go extinct, crazy killers deal wanton death and politicians pass scary, horrid laws. Loved ones die. Families fall apart. People harass you away from things you really care about.
These are the little seeds of darkness that are always there. All around, all the time, and at times you just want to throw up your hands in despair, because there's no way of avoiding all this mindless, pointless BAD of the world.

But you light candles. You fight it, and battle it and do what you can to make things better, one tiny little bit at a time. And it works, mostly.

But then, occasionally, a cut just strikes too deep, and the seeds take root.
And they will bloom from within, and there's no way to keep them at a distance anymore.
That's clinical depression.
When there's no more defense between yourself and all that's rotten and wrong and hurting about the world. It's right there, and you can't fight it or get away from it anymore.

It's a poisonous, horrible state to be in, and dangerous because it seems so very true, the only truth - everything is rotten and there's no point in hanging in there, in surviving just to live through more of that purposeless pain.

Fighting one's way out of that is one of the hardest things I know.

You have to rip that seductive black flower right out, and it will yank parts of your heart out along with it, leaving pain and open wounds that take a long, long time to heal, even after the sickness itself is expelled.

I don't know what else to say.
That was the thought when I painted this.
I've ripped out that flower for now, but I still limp around with the sore wounds it left behind, and try my best to keep going, refusing to give into the rot again.

There is light, now, there is life and there are things that make life worth living, still.

And every day is a gift to be cherished, my beloved Rhianna, because life can be over so very, very suddenly.

Random Real Life check...

2008-06-29T21:49:18Z

Been off my meds for a few weeks now.
I was horribly, feverishly dizzy for the first couple of weeks, but that's almost gone now. What's even more of a relief is I haven't felt any backlash from the actual depression.
Knock on wood, I think I'm good for now.

The odd sensation about quitting these sorts of meds is you slowly start feeling again.
I mean, obviously I could feel some things before, too, but dampened by chemicals like that, any emotional response is automatic and half-hearted.
And now the chemicals are wearing off, and I'm reminded of what it's like to, you know, function as an ordinary human being again. Strange.

So much has happened while I was 'gone' that I would have reacted strongly to if I could have, but by now the pain and shock is old enough not to warrant a real response.
There's a certain melancholy, though.

Even though I've tried to ignore the fact, my family has been ripped apart. My parents divorced earlier this spring - no quarrel, they'd just drifted apart to a point where there was no point in staying together anymore.
...
Although considering how very fast they hooked up with new respective partners, I rather suspect they'd been planning it for quite some time before splitting up.

My mother got remarried a few weeks later. I now seem to have inlaws in Algeria, whaddayaknow.

I've also been entrusted with the ashes of beloved little Rhianna - since the family home is being sold they didn't want to bury her in the garden, so they asked me to find a beautiful place here on Gotland for her to rest.
That was enough of a kick in the guts of reminded grief that I actually wept when I picked up the sad little cardboard box. A part of me still wishes so desperately to believe my beloved little cat is still alive and well back home, a home that isn't picked to pieces and offered up for the highest buyer.

Sigh. Feeling again is pretty sucky, sometimes.

So yeah. Cat-funeral tomorrow. I know a good place. It'll all be good.

My dreams are also slowly returning to their normal sparkling fantastic vivid selves - the meds kept them very subdued and everyday-like. I missed my wild, epic dreamscapes.
Only I guess my dreams is still my outlet for all the bitterness and loss I can repress decently during the days - I often dream of my family, of feeling let down and left behind and utterly lost. Fancy that.

But we're all grownups here, and there's no point in bitching about things that just won't change when everyone else is apparently happy. Hell, my mother's like a giggly teenager in love.

It's been a very trying year, and it's still a bit of a struggle. But I'm above the clouds now and can at least see where I'm going, even though it's still an uphill and slippery road.

I'm also busy laying some epic battle-plans laid to make sure this year's November won't smack me back down again. Oh, yeah. Screw you, November. Fool me once, shame on you, but knock me down twice, shame's on me. I'll come prepared this year.
Like Pratchett said? When fate comes knocking it won't find me waiting.
It won't find me at all. u.u

silvestris @ 2008-06-28T17:47:00

2008-06-28T15:53:44Z

Sod, fuck, damn, boo, hiss.

I bought a camera on eBay yesterday.
A birthday present for myself, since it seems my dear family is too busy divorcing, remarrying and selling off ye olde house to remember my birthday's coming up. Not bitter, promise.

I've been drooling over that particular camera for quite a while - I really need a new one since my old one got sand into the zoom-machinery in India and doesn't work properly anymore.
And I found a downright dreamy camera on eBay. It's the same model my brother has - I've tried his camera, it's wonderful.

So I bought it, intending to bounce it by wonderfully helpful Vestaka to get it here.

Only to find out Paypal has changed their damned policy over the last few months, and you can no longer ship to addresses outside your own country.

Liek, wtf?

Isn't the point of Paypal to make it easier to trade and send money and stuff internationally?

So now I'll have to cancel the damned auction because I can't afford to have it sent to me directly, risking it getting stuck in customs who'll slap another $200 I don't have onto it.

Damn, damn, damn, damn.

[edit] So all's well that ends well, and Vestaka is an angel who took lot of hassle without batting an eyelash, so we could finally work around the system. ♥

Just hope the buggery thing won't get caught in customs after all this trouble. =p

silvestris @ 2008-06-27T14:03:00

2008-06-27T12:09:14Z

Still one or two chibis to go for the Freerice.com challenge. If anyone participated and haven't asked for their chibi yet, I'd appreciate it if you did soon - I can't guarantee I'll have the time to draw them if you wait too long.

Yesterday was a busy day, so in the end I pampered myself with some drawing just for me. Sometimes you just gotta do that, you know, no strings attached?

Asleep

Nexeph and the kittens. Probably crashed on Sugarplum and Cain's couch after having been on the run from E.D.E.N for a few weeks. It's a very tattered and jumpy ex-evil mad scientist the poor boys drag along home. The kittens being his one saving grace.
After all, he'd probably have ended up a lot more tattered and jumpy if Cain's must-kick-Nexeph-arse instincts hadn't been sort of quenched by three identical huge, sparkly, beseeching pairs of eyes. u.u

FreeRice.Com challenge

2008-06-23T09:51:12Z

You guys are all awesome, I hope you know that!

Together all the participants in the challenge scraped together a whopping 230700 grains of rice, 243700 if I get to throw in my own earned rice during the challenge to the mix.

"The composition of UN World Food Program (WFP) food baskets varies from country to country and region to region, depending upon the eating habits of the people WFP feeds. In countries where rice is a staple part of the diet, WFP provides, on average, about 400 grams of rice per person, per day (for families, including children and adults). That is intended for two meals that include other ingredients to ensure a minimum of 2,100 kilocalories per day. There are about 48 grains of rice in a gram."
--Freerice.com

48 grains make up one gram. That means more than 5 kilograms of earned rice since last Thursday. According to the site, the daily ration given by the WFP is 400g per person.
A bit of math thus states that in 4 days, just having fun, we gathered rice enough to feed 12 people. Alternately keeping 3 people fed for all 4 days.

Little things can make a difference, and you guys all rock for doing it. :)

As for winners, I realized in hindsight I'd been very vague with my 'rules', so picking a winner is difficult - one person had the highest score in one go, another a highest total etc.
...
So, eh, hell, the entire point of these things is strength in numbers after all. Any one of you who participated can have a chibi doodle. Just leave a comment asap and let me know what you want. X3

Challenge. ^_^

2008-06-19T12:09:50Z

Since several people brought up Freerice.com in my last post, I decided to pimp it in a funny little way.

On this site you guess the correct word, and every time you get one right, sponsors donate 20 grains of rice to that UN World Food Program I mentioned in my last post. You have fun and do good at the same time! Isn't that kickass?

Now, a little challenge..

Here's 5000 grains from me today. Anyone feel like beating my lazy ass?

Go to Freerice.com, play the game, then take a print-screen of your best result and post it in a comment here.

Whomever has the highest score midnight CET on Sunday gets a free chibi. ♥

Go play!

That time of the year again.

2008-06-16T17:13:45Z

Something wondrous happened last summer. I wonder if it could happen again...

My birthday is coming up in about a month. Turn 29 on July 19th. Heh. It's been a peculiar year in many ways.

If anything, though, the various struggles of the past year have made me more determined than ever to refuse to give into cynicism;
There are some bad things that happen and that you just can't change, only take on as they come, but there are some bad things that you can change, goddammit, if you just get off your arse and do something.

So like last year, I'll wish for a special birthday present...

If my art, stories or friendship ever brought a smile to your lips, brightened a day, or just generally entertained you, the best present you could give me for my birthday is to go out there and do something. Just some little thing to make the world that little bit better.

Food-prices are rising everywhere; it's something all of us currently encounter in our daily lives. But there are some who are struck so much harder, those already poor, sick and hungry.
By supporting the UN World Food Program, you can help out.
Or you can donate money to UNESCO to help children in need.

It should have escaped no-one we also have a little climate crisis on our hands to tackle. Wanna help out?
Change to low-energy bulbs. Switch off the lights in a room you're not in, don't leave the water running, try to avoid food and candy that comes wrapped in fifty layers of plastic etc. In other words, use your common sense. ^_^

Or if you want to fight with the big guns, you can go adopt an animal through the World Wildlife Fund. It will support research needed to affect politicians when they sign new laws and treaties, and help preserve endangered species.
( I myself have an Orca named Blip. ^_^ )

Or if you're an artist? Offer to donate art - the shiny pictures and photos the big organizations like the WWF and Greenpeace use in their campaigns to encourage people to help out are expensive - if they get art for free, that money can go directly towards preservation of animals or habitats instead.

Okay. But some of us are pretty poor bastards without lots of money to spend - all these things are expensive, right? Wrong.
Any cent makes a difference - especially if you can drag more people off their butts to help out. Doesn't matter how much, just smack a few coins into the collecting box of the local store.
Last year some people donated hair to make wigs for children with cancer - doesn't cost you a penny. Donate blood, perhaps? All for free.
There's something everyone can think of, with a bit of time and imagination - the only way we've finally lost is the second someone goes "Nah, it's not worth the trouble" and gives up.

Still doesn't matter if you're a cynical bastard who don't believe in this sort of thing - do it anyway, and say "Happy Birthday, Silvy" under your breath as you do it, if it makes you feel less silly about the whole deal.

It may be a tiny difference for you, but to someone, somewhere, you just gave the greatest thing anyone could possibly give; enough future for a fighting chance.

I know I've lost some watchers this past half year due to my lack of posted creativity - but that should just mean the ones who remained are the most kickass of the bunch, and the ones worthy of being called friends, right?

So, guys. Will you help me do this?

silvestris @ 2008-06-12T20:12:00

2008-06-12T18:52:27Z

Team Switzerland is by far the most accomplishes scientist-team within E.D.E.N. No-one has quite managed to figure out why, aside from the obvious fact they're all pretty darn brilliant scientists. But what forms the synergy between those bitches remains a mystery. They're clearly cheating. Somehow.

"Aspire To Be More Like Switzerland"

To explain the title, it helps to know it's the catchphrase of the Swiss team in question. Preferably delivered as condescendingly as possible to the great helpless frustration and resenting admiration of one's lesser talented colleagues within E.D.E.N.

Like so:

Sophia was finally wrapping up her lecture; it had been the better part of four hours without breaks, and yet the audience still listened with unbroken attention, rapture even. Damn Switzerland for making the most inspired new breakthroughs sound so obvious once made.

"These new routines will be made available through the intranet, as usual," Sophia clipped, arranging her papers and sweeping her cool gaze over the audience.
"You are all encouraged to implement them in your own projects. You should familiarize yourselves with the material to fully understand its possibilities, or try to improve it if you can."
She didn't emphasize the 'try'. She didn't need to.
Hag.

Behind the Switzerland head scientist her cronies stood lined up in a smart manner that would make any militant dictator proud. Even the damned power-point presentation had been impeccably sleek. Of course. Damned Switzerland.

As the lecture neared its end a hush had fallen over the auditorium, as though all assembled were holding their breath.
Any time now, here it comes...

Nexeph ground his teeth; it was frustrating how the crowd seemed to wait for it, eagerly anticipate it even, as though it was something to relish in! Wet-eared whippersnapper assistants, attending their very first E.D.E.N convention breathlessly leaned forward slightly in their seats, this was it, their christening, experiencing a time-honored ritual, taking part in E.D.E.N history...
Disgusting, the fawning and thinly veiled admiration-tinted resentment was.

Sophia once again swept her icy scrutinizing eyes over the audience, for whatever reason invoking image of a displeased preschool teacher scolding the pupils for not having done their homework properly.
"Once again we have accomplished on average four times the results any one of you have presented over the past year. The outcome of our hard labour has generously been made available to you, to hopefully improve your work. Do try to make good use of it, so perhaps next year we won't be the only ones with results worth presenting. You should all aspire to be more like Switzerland."

A hushed exhale echoed throughout the room at the awaited words.

By now they were ritual, tradition; only the eldest generation of head scientists remembered a time before Switzerland's annual condescending lecturing had become norm.

Stuck-up witches, the lot of them!
But competent, capable witches, unfortunately.
While the assembled congregation of E.D.E.N's finest stood and began heading for the doors, he determinedly tuned out Quackraki's not-at-all discreet remark to Ojoh about the red-headed Switzerland assistant's figure, and the latter's resulting juvenile cackle.

Definitely not like Switzerland.

Oh, the things I could accomplish with a single one of those for my assistant!
Perhaps Sophia would be interested in a trade-off? My two assistants for two of yours? ... Unlikely. Perhaps the other way around - give me one of yours and you'll never have to touch one of mine with a long stick? Possibly.

He focused and realized one of the young Asian twins - hell if he'd ever be able to tell them apart! - was standing in front of him, politely waiting for him to notice her.

"Sophia would like to remind you that your meeting is in ten minutes," she said with a gracious little smile and he scowled - how someone about half his height could manage to convey the impression of looking down on him he never knew, but it was aggravating beyond all proportion.
"Thank you," he snapped between his teeth, "I had not forgotten. You can assure Dr. Wintersteele I will be there on time."

The cool dismissal was only slightly ruined by Quackraki's and Ojoh's whispering and snickering behind his back.
The girl nodded, all professionalism, and he could have sworn there was the slightest gleam of pity in her eyes as she turned and strode away after her companions.

"You two," he turned with a dangerous growl, "Just shut up! And don't start any trouble while I'm away."
His assistants gave him identical sullen looks.
"What, we don't get to go?" Quackraki complained, obviously disappointed at being robbed of further opportunities to ogle the Swiss females.

"Absolutely not. I can't help you embarrassing Tokyo beyond all reason with your mere presence here, but I will not have you do it in front of Sophia and the others. Just... go be quiet in a corner or something."

It said something, he concluded as he stalked away, when one's assistants were so horrid one would consider it relief to be under the judging, frosty stare of Dr. Wintersteele for an hour rather than suffer their company.

A single one of those girls, and Tokyo could work wonders...

They were still utter hags, though.
And he just knew Sophia would be kind enough to point out he was now 7 seconds late.

[edit] Ooops. Unlocked the picture; it's viewable now.

silvestris @ 2008-06-11T01:40:00

2008-06-11T00:29:01Z

A lovely side-effect from quitting the pills is the sudden attacks of extreme, feverish dizziness. Whoo! 8D
So far so good, though - the only other symptom is a slight case of hyperactivity, which, when channeled into drawing and schoolwork, is probably a good thing.

Having hiatus'd TPBoD temporarily, I've lately found other sparklies to fangirl.
Chi's E.D.E.N story keeps me ridiculously entertained, and there's been quite a bunch of sketches produced during the past week.

Team Tokyo! The scientific team of the Tokyo E.D.E.N lab, with Dr. Nexeph aka Uriel in charge. He rather politely begs you to ignore his two embarrassing, incompetent assistants Quackraki and Ojoh, though. Really. Please.

Team Switzerland. This gang plays in another league altogether. Who gets all the E.D.E.N grants? Switzerland. Who succeeds in the most daring, novel experiments? Switzerland. Who are the most aloof bitches in the entirety of E.D.E.N? Yeah, bloody Switzerland, damn them!
Led by the most distinguished Dr. Lizbeth Wintersteele, aka Sophia, this all-female troupe inspires envy, admiration and wanton hate in their fellow E.D.E.N colleagues.

All of them! ... Almost.
Left to right: Poopsie, Snuffles, Fluffy, Sugarplum, Cain, Formerly-known-as-Ruth, L.F Nexeph, Ojoh, Quackraki, Dr. Wintersteele, Molly, Azande, Ming, Ting and Abel.

'Daddy Sugarplum', Sugarplum's adoptive father. Chi, the poor guy needs a name.

Poopsie. Beware the powers of Cute.

Fluffy, during the eventful trip to Bahamas. More Cute overload.

Ah, Cain and Nexeph during the same vacation trip. Not getting along, as per usual.
You'd think the foolish boy would realize the folly of using a water-gun when you're already standing to your waist in water, but nooo...

Dr. Wintersteele vs Poopsie. This is where we all back away real slow and let the bitches fight it out.

Finally the result of a horrendous little AU-whatever involving an utterly unlikely romance...
Formerly-known-as-Ruth gave the two of them a copy of the Kama Sutra.
Being the hardcore scientists they are, of course this intriguing text must be properly analyzed before any information is in any way applied practically.

Delightfully, I'm not the only one having fun in Chi's sandbox - out most eminent favorite writer Abby also produced a most wonderful little thing ~~and it took almost no bribing at all, either >.>~~

Go read Your Mother Was A Hamster for some delightfully deranged E.D.E.N character interaction (and implied dirtiness, too ♥)
~~As for Quackraki's and Ojoh's hamster-ear-fetish... Just don't ask. Really. Don't ask.~~

In fact, go read her writing, period. u.u

Lifesign

2008-06-10T00:07:32Z

And so for the first time in 8 months, we're off the drugs.
Quit my anti-depressants three days ago, and it's a very very careful walk on very, very thin ice. Still on my feet though.
Ach, well. Come on Bambi, water's stiff.

Apparently the thing of the day...

2008-06-06T14:46:57Z

I think this one was real tricky - many choices that weren't at all obvious - but I really really do agree with the end result, so I suppose that's all good. X3

Dreamy Idealist (DI)

The dreamy idealist is very cautious and therefore often appears shy and reserved to others. He shares his rich emotional life and his passionate convictions with very few people. But one would be very much mistaken to judge him to be cool and reserved. He has a pronounced inner system of values and clear, honourable principles for which he is willing to sacrifice a great deal. Johanna von Orleans or Sir Galahad would have been good examples of this personality type. He is always at great pains to improve the world. He can be very considerate towards others and does a lot to support them and stand up for them. He is interested in his fellow beings, attentive and generous towards them. Once his enthusiasm for an issue or person is aroused, he can become a tireless fighter.

For the dreamy idealist, practical things are not really so important. He only busies himself with mundane everyday demands when absolutely necessary. He tends to live according to the motto “the genius controls the chaos” - which is normally the case so that he often has a very successful academic career. He is less interested in details; he prefers to look at something as a whole. This means that he still has a good overview even when things start to become hectic. However, as a result, it can occasionally happen that he overlooks something important. As he is very peace-loving, he tends not to openly show his dissatisfaction or annoyance but to bottle it up. Assertiveness is not one of his strong points; he hates conflicts and competition. He prefers to motivate others with his amicable and enthusiastic nature. Whoever has him as superior will never have to complain about not being given enough praise.

As at work, the dreamy idealist is a helpful and loyal friend and partner, a person of integrity. Obligations are absolutely sacred to him. The feelings of other are important to him and he loves making other people happy. He is satisfied with just a small circle of friends; his need for social contact is not very marked as he also needs a lot of time to himself. Superfluous small talk is not his thing. If one wishes to be friends with him or have a relationship with him, one would have to share his world of thought and be willing to participate in profound discussions. If you manage that you will be rewarded with an exceptionally intensive, rich partnership. Due to his high demands on himself and others, this personality type tends however to sometimes overload the relationship with romantic and idealistic ideas to such an extent that the partner feels overtaxed or inferior. The dreamy idealist does not fall in love head over heels but when he does fall in love he wants his to be a great, eternal love.

Adjectives which describe your type
introverted, theoretical, emotional, spontaneous, idealistic, dreamy, effusive, pleasant, reserved, friendly, passionate, loyal, perfectionist, helpful, creative, composed, curious, obstinate, with integrity, willing to make sacrifices, romantic, cautious, shy, peace-loving, vulnerable, sensitive, communicative, imaginative

These subjects could interest you
literature, philosophy, psychology, music, art (museums), writing, drawing/painting, astrology, spiritual things, meditation, handicrafts, writing, voluntary work

silvestris @ 2008-05-13T13:47:00

2008-05-13T11:44:43Z

Hiatus.

More Real Life difficulties on top of everything else. Can't cope anymore.

Thanks, guys, for all your kindness and support. You've been wonderful, and I love you.

silvestris @ 2008-05-08T16:07:00

2008-05-08T14:04:20Z

Ah, good old DA, certain not to disappoint! 8D

Within a few hours of posting KH art over there, the little trollsies start rearing their heads again.
Not surprised. Not at all.

E.D.E.N

2008-05-08T13:15:43Z

Hangin' in there.

Thought I'd post some more of what I've been doing art-wise all this time offline, along with another of those new scribbly doodles.

Full poster Group detail

This is a painting I made for chigrima's birthday last year.
Watercolor, quite big, too big to scan. In the end I had to use my camera to digitalize it, so it's not as sharp as it could have been.

The characters are, of course, the cast of her brilliant, twisted and very, very silly original story; Project E.D.E.N. Briefly outlined here and here.

In the front is the main cast; very gay and very kickass plumber Sugarplum, with his boyfriend, the genetically improved superhuman cat-boy Cain who's escaped from the shady crime syndicate E.D.E.N.
Also Dr L. Nexeph, codename Uriel, token evil mad scientist and creator of at least one of the two.
And then there's the three 'failed experiments' Fluffy, Snuffles and Poopsie, who said evil mad scientist simply couldn't bring himself to dispose on account of their extreme powers of Cute, and has kept in secret in his private office, well spoiled with the finest cat-toys and food.
Add to the mix Nexeph's hippie mom Moonflower/Lovechild/Harmony/whatever she calls herself this week, who to most others go by the name Formerly-known-as-Ruth, and chaos is bound to happen...

In the back is the silhouette of E.D.E.N's top boss, known only by his codename Jehova, and Nexeph's two blundering assistants Quackraki and Ojoh.

And while on the subject...
Don't remember if I've posted this one here before or not, but anyway. More E.D.E.N!

Sugarplum, Cain, Nexeph and Snuffles, Fluffy and Poopsie.

And then finally another of those therapeutic doodles:

Cue drama.
At the beginning of Season II, E.D.E.N are very, very displeased with their head scientist for not only letting experiments Adam and Cain escape and having had the Tokyo lab utterly ruined, but also because said scientist has apparently kept some of his 'failed' experiments for himself, which is not part of the job perks.
E.D.E.N would like to chop up those kittens and see what makes them tick, thank you very much.
Er, no, decides very-soon-to-be-former-head scientist. Can't have that. My kittons are too cute to die! T_T

And so we pick up the kittens and run.
Into Cain and Sugarplum and the Secret Plumber Society of Tokyo.
And so more chaos happens. u.u

silvestris @ 2008-05-07T20:59:00

2008-05-07T19:06:27Z

What emotional roller coaster? I'm sure I know not of what you're speaking.
Right.

In case it isn't already painfully obvious, things are rather shaky at the moment.
Last Friday I was finally well enough after the India-sickness to go through with the move back home to Hemse, along with cats, computers and other assorted bits and pieces.

So now I'm back in my own apartment for the first time since last fall's row of disasters, with my own internet computer to hog and whine on. Meanwhile the by now usual stream of bad news trickle in and makes life a bit rough.
So, yeah. My LJ will host its fair share of venting and rants, no doubt.

The good side to all this is that I now also finally have my own drawing-computer back - it was left at work for when we went to India, and then got stuck there since we were too sick to go through with the move back here.

Finally back in my greedy little hands though, as that Vexen-picture proved.

Creativity is a bit bumpy, but I've managed to get at least some lazy therapeutic scribbling done.
Like this.

Palolem beach in moonlight, doodled from memory, sans food shacks and neon lights.
Because under the tropical moon, it was just this beautiful.

silvestris @ 2008-05-04T12:36:00

2008-05-04T10:42:35Z

Yeah, so, life's not been peachy lately.
You'd think one'd get used to the fact, but sometimes it still upsets me enough I want to shake my fist at the universe and swear for a bit.

What brought the latest fit of bitterness about was the fact I'd just finished a commissioned picture, and itch with the fact I can't really share it anywhere. There was a time when a piece of finished art would be cause for joy and celebration, and these days it just leads to frustration.

Especially given the nature of the image; I know I swore never to touch this fandom again with a long stick, but, well.
Hah.
It wouldn't do to let a commissioner down, would it, even though the finished image was late beyond all reason.

Fucking TPBoD art.
Watch my last semblances of principles crumble, like everything else lately.

silvestris @ 2008-05-04T01:43:00

2008-05-04T00:16:13Z

Bitter, bitter, bitter, bitter.

I probably shouldn't be let near my LJ when I'm in such a mood, but every now and then I just have to get up on a virtual rooftop and scream out my frustration in some way to be able to go on.

I can't let it go how bitter and angry I still am over all the things that took place last fall and winter, and that ended with me leaving all the internet communities I had been part of for many years to get away from the witch hunt.
I didn't know then what a horrible half year lay ahead of me. Thank god - if I had known, I would have given up right then and there and saved myself the trouble.

Would things have been different if I hadn't already been beaten down and broken when things started crashing down all around me in real life?
Would it have been different if I had still had a treasured fandom to fall back on, like the year before?

Yes, and yes.

How much different, I have no idea.

But yeah, congratulations - the little organized clique of petty brats who thought it a great idea to ruin someone else's life rather than dealing with their own shit really succeeded.

Bitter, bitter.

I'm so ruined, so emotionally burnt I can't even muster feeling enough to grieve the death of my darling cat. How pathetic is that?

Some days I just really, really wish I could strike back and hurt those who hurt me and make them feel what I've felt this past half year. In the end I wouldn't, even if I could, but damn. I don't think I have ever resented anyone or anything I've encountered online like I do these people.
Time may heal all wounds, but first and foremost it puts things in perspective, and the more perspective I get, the more furious their actions make me.

What they did was not justified. Not, not, not. I've always made a point of trying to be a nice person online, and while I can fail, like anyone, I did not deserve being trolled, slandered, stalked, taunted and threatened.

Even now I can't bring myself to return to the communities I once loved, for fear of trouble starting up again. If that's what the younger generations are turning the Internet into, I'll rather not come out and play anymore. I can't take another attack like that.

I'm so tired of all this, of feeling this way all the time, of battling something that just never ends. Depression eating away at everyday life and leaving it hollow and bleak, and everything else just going to hell, smacking me back down every time I make an effort to get back on my feet.

There's not a whole lot of things left to lose now, and in my heart of hearts I'm terrified that the rotten madness that has touched everything around me these past months will finally catch up and take the things most precious to me.

I'm so tired of everything breaking down all around me.
I really just want it to stop.